the love doctor

**disclaimer: the names of all involved in the story below have been changed (well, except Kristopher's of course) in order to prevent embarrassment**

i don't know when it started, but ever since he was able to talk, Kristopher has been the dr phil for all of his friends with their relationship problems in the complex world of love. now, how did he become the foremost expert on love? maybe it's all of the oprah that he is forced to watch while the dvr is taping after school or maybe it's just because he has such a smart mom :) seriously. from what i can hear though (i am really not eavesdropping, he just walks around the house with the phone on speaker doling out advice all the time - sometimes even stopping to ask what i think. he places them on mute when he does that), the advice that he gives sounds pretty reasonable but i just want him to stay out of the middle of his friends issues. here's a snippet of a recent conversation between him and one of his friends (the friend has not been named of course because he, or the little lady involved, may actually stumble across a page that doesn't exist on myspace) that i "overheard" recently:

kristopher: "ok, so you like her and she likes you?"

friend: "well yeah. i like her but she doesn't know"

kt: "well have you talked to her or told her that you like her?"

friend: "man, didn't you just hear me say i haven't told her? you know i'm shy and she is so - uhm, sophisticated." (now i almost fell out of the chair when i heard this. sophisticated in 9th grade? well, now that i think about it, i thought i was sophisticated in 9th grade too)

kt: "well how do you think she is going to know who you are and that you like her if you don't tell her?"

friend: "well, that's where you come in."

me: (thinking oh Lord Have Mercy. here we go. not a good idea because Kristopher will talk to a dead tree stump and has a dazzling personality that makes everyone want to be around him)

kt: well, what do you want me to say? i think you need to tell her exactly what you feel and that you like her.

friend: "no, i can't. i am too shy. you tell her in the morning when we see her. i will just wait to see what she says after that."

kt (sighing): "ok but you are gonna have to talk to her eventually."

i don't know what happened with the situation the next day at school but i do know that Kristopher has since said that the object of all of this affection thinks his friend is a little coo coo because of the way that said friend stares at her.
now she likes Kristopher. oh my. haven't these children read cyrano de bergerac yet?

i've told Kristopher that friends don't let friends drive drunk nor do they date each others women. i will keep you posted...